i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
