i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
