yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize