i just wanna soil my oats bro
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
