Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
