So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
