your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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