is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
