would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
so much tequila, so little girl.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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