The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
