I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
