You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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