Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
