That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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