Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
