dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
