I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
