clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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