I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize