I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
