he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize