the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
