If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
