you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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