Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
