the day after is always just damage control
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
