Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
