oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I skipped work to stalk him.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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