I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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