I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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