Do you still have your period?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
