whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
third nipple confirmed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
