Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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