That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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