yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
