I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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