so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
