You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
