I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
