My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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