she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
