I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
