Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
