Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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