susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
