She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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