I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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