Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
