do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
