i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
