Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
