Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
