I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
