You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
