she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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