the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
