I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
