i permit you to call me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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