Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You ruined the universe
Randomize