I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
