she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
