she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
