he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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