Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
two words: eviction party
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize